Gravy: A Poem by Raymond Carver

Here's a poem by Raymond Carver that I've always found inspiring:

Gravy

No other word will do. For that's what it was. Gravy.
Gravy, these past ten years.
Alive, sober, working, loving, and
being loved by a good woman. Eleven years
ago he was told he had six months to live
at the rate he was going. And he was going
nowhere but down. So he changed his ways
somehow. He quit drinking! And the rest?
After that it was all gravy, every minute
of it, up to and including when he was told about,
well, some things that were breaking down and
building up inside his head. "Don't weep for me,"
he said to his friends. "I'm a lucky man.
I've had ten years longer than I or anyone
expected. Pure Gravy. And don't forget it."

                  RAYMOND CARVER
                   (1938-1988)

Stanford happiness class proves popular, helpful

Here's an excerpt from a San Francisco Chronicle article about a happiness class at Stanford (written by Kathryn Roethel, Special to the Chronicle - Tuesday, November 29, 2011)

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/11/28/BA821M2BVL.DTL#ixzz1f73UeBrf

Demand for Luskin and Pertofsky's classes is high. The fall class is full, and in a similar summer course for graduate students, 75 applied for 30 spots. Pertofsky said each year there are students - she estimates 10 to 12 - who take the course at the recommendation of the university's mental health counselors. 


In past classes, Luskin and Pertofsky surveyed students' stress levels during the first week of class, and again during the last week of class. On average, Pertofsky said, students were 27 percent less stressed at the end of the class. 


Course assignments include examining research on what leads to happiness - and what does not. One week, students must hold a discussion with people outside the class to share class techniques. Another week, students must seek out "invisible people" on campus, such as food service employees, janitors or groundskeepers, and thank them for the ways their work contributes to life at Stanford.

Pertofsky tells a story of one former student, an athlete with a tough exterior, who begrudgingly told the woman who cleaned his dorm bathroom each morning that it was nice to have a clean shower every day. 

"He said the woman burst into tears and said she'd cleaned at Stanford for 16 years and this was the first time anyone had ever thanked her," Pertofsky said.

Finding happiness at Stanford

Fred Luskin, instructor of the Stanford happiness class, said that the simplest definition of happiness is "wanting what you have." Conversely, the simplest definition of stress is "wanting something to be different."

Below are five techniques Luskin teaches for reducing stress and increasing happiness.

-- Keep a daily gratitude journal, listing items for which you feel grateful.
-- Perform a meditation practice, or simply a few minutes of deep breathing and quiet reflection on something that made you happy. Consider what you can do to achieve that happiness again.
-- Make a habit of sharing the highlights of your day with someone close to you.
-- Practice forgiveness routinely.
-- Construct a list of all activities and experiences that relax and rejuvenate you. Use items from this list to manage your daily stress.

Here's an excerpt from the Noah Levine article on Huffington Post (entitled "Against The Stream: The Dharma Punx Path") that I read from last week:

"I came to the realization that the only thing that had ever truly alleviated confusion and suffering in my life was meditation. So I began to explore the possibility of finding a spiritual solution to my living crisis. One of the foundational experiences of my early spiritual exploration was the twelve-step process of recovery from alcoholism and addiction. Although I had been sober for a couple of years and was attending twelve-step meetings regularly, I had never truly attempted to practice the principles of the steps, which together form a practical spiritual and psychological process. In 1990, I began to do what was suggested in the recovery program, which consisted of prayer, meditation, personal inventories, and amends."

Click here to read the whole article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/noah-levine/against-the-stream-the-dh_b_138541.html

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

(This poem gives me a lift every time I read it. -w)

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

~ Mary Oliver ~

(Dream Work)

Dharma & Recovery Reading List

Here's a partial list of books to check out that I've found particularly helpful on the road to exploring Buddhism, spirituality and the 12 Steps of Recovery (note that not all of these are related directly to the 12 Steps):

One Breath at a Time: Buddhism and the Twelve Steps by Kevin Griffin

A Burning Desire: Dharma God and the Path of Recovery by Kevin Griffin

The Spirituality of Imperfection: Storytelling and the Search for Meaning by Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham

Dharma Punx: A Memoir by Noah Levine

Against the Stream: A Buddhist Manual for Spiritual Revolutionaries by Noah Levine

The Heart of the Revolution: The Buddha's Radical Teachings  on Forgiveness, Compassion, and Kindness by Noah Levine

The Noble Eightfold Path: Way to the End of Suffering by Bhikkhu Bodhi

12 Steps on the Buddha's Path: Bill, Buddha, and We by Laura S.

The Sound of Silence by Ajahn Sumedho

Mindfulness and the 12 Steps: Living Recovery in the Present Moment by Therese Jacobs-Stewart

Buddhism Without Beliefs: A Contemporary Guise to Awakening by Stephen Batchelor

Living with the Devil: A Meditation on Good and Evil by Stephen Batchelor

Confession of a Buddhist Atheist by Stephen Batchelor

All of Jack Kornfield's books

All of Joseph Goldstein's books

All of Sharon Salzberg's books

The Dart Sutta (On Not Being an Uninstructed Worlding)!

(NOTE: We will be discussing this sutta on Tuesday, July 30.)


The Dart of Painful Feeling -- The Buddha (SN 36:6; IV 207-10)

"Monks, when the uninstructed worldling experiences a painful feeling, he sorrows, grieves, and
laments; he weeps beating his breast and becomes distraught. He feels two feelings--a bodily one
and a mental one. Suppose they were to strike a man with a dart, and then strike him immediately
afterward with a second dart, so that the man would feel a feeling caused by two darts. So too,
when the uninstructed worldling experiences a painful feeling, he feels two feelings--a bodily
one and a mental one.

“While experiencing that same painful feeling, he harbors aversion toward it. When he harbors aversion toward painful feeling, the underlying tendency to aversion toward painful feeling lies
behind this. While experiencing painful feeling, he seeks delight in sensual pleasure: For what reason? Because the uninstructed worldling does not know of any escape from painful feeling
other than sensual pleasure. When he seeks delight in sensual pleasure, the underlying tendency to lust for pleasant feeling lies behind this. He does not understand as it really is; the origin and
the passing away, the gratification, the danger, and the escape in the case of these feelings. When he does not understand these things, the underlying tendency to ignorance in regard to neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling lies behind this.

“If he feels a pleasant feeling, he feels it attached. If he feels a painful feeling, he feels it
attached. If he feels a neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling, he feels it attached. This, monks, is
called an uninstructed worldling who is attached to birth, aging, and death; who is attached to
sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair; who is attached to suffering, I say.

"Monks, when the instructed noble disciple experiences a painful feeling, he does not sorrow,
grieve, or lament; he does not weep beating his breast and become distraught." He feels one
feeling--a bodily one, not a mental one. Suppose they were to strike a man with a dart, but they
would not strike him immediately afterward with a second dart, so that the man would feel a
feeling caused by one dart only. So too, when the instructed noble disciple experiences a painful
feeling, he feels one feeling -a bodily one, and not a mental one.

“While experiencing that same painful feeling, he harbors no aversion toward it. Since he
harbors no aversion toward painful feeling, the underlying tendency to aversion toward painful
feeling does not lie behind this. While experiencing painful feeling, he does not seek delight in
sensual pleasure: For what reason? Because the instructed noble disciple knows of an escape
from painful feeling other than sensual pleasure. Since he does not seek delight in sensual
pleasure, the underlying tendency to lust for pleasant feeling does not lie behind this. He
understands as it really is the origin and the passing away, the gratification, the danger, and the
escape in the case of these feelings. Since he understands these things, the underlying tendency
to ignorance in regard to neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling does not lie behind this.

"If he feels a pleasant feeling, he feels it detached. If he feels a painful feeling, he feels it
detached. If he feels a neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling, he feels it detached. This, monks,
is called a noble disciple who is detached from birth, aging, and death: who is detached from
sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair; who is detached from suffering I say.”

"This, monks, is the distinction, the disparity, the difference between the instructed noble
disciple and the uninstructed worldling."

from In the Buddha's Words: edited and translated by Bhikkhu Bodhi

Latest Entry by Kevin Griffin on Huff Post re: Steps 6 & 7

Here is a link to Kevin Griffin's latest entry on the Huffington Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kevin-griffin/the-higher-power-of-karma_b_890510.html

And here's an excerpt from the article that struck me:

To me, this process isn't about God in a Western sense, but it is about power -- the power of karma, action. In the Bible it says, "Ask and it will be given you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you." This sounds a lot like Step Seven to me. Buddhadasa Bhikkhu, a Thai forest monk of the 20th century says this about that passage: "From the Buddhist point of view, this is a matter of karma ... we beseech the Law of Karma through our action and not merely with words." From a Buddhist point of view, the Law of Karma, which says every action has a result, can be seen as a Higher Power. For those of us who have been lost in addiction, when we connect with karma in this way, take the actions that harmonize with the Law of Karma, our life changes in radical ways. There's no magic here, but there is great effort and faith. We have to abandon long-held beliefs, about ourselves, and about the world. We have to fight the self-destructive and pleasure seeking habits that have destroyed our lives, even as we have devoted ourselves to them. We have to take actions, internally and externally that may be uncomfortable and unnatural, and we have to stick with these new behaviors even when they aren't producing the results we want.

Ajahn Sumedho's booklet The Four Noble Truths

Here is a link to the booklet by Ajahn Sumedho on The Four Noble Truths, along with the excerpt I read last night on Letting Go:


LETTING GO
If we contemplate desires and listen to them, we are actually no longer attaching to them; we are just allowing them to be the way they are. Then we come to the realisation that the origin of suffering, desire, can be laid aside and let go of.

How do you let go of things? This means you leave them as they are; it does not mean you annihilate them or throw them away. It is more like setting down and letting them be. Through the practice of letting go we realise that there is the origin of suffering, which is the attachment to desire, and we realise that we should let go of these three kinds of desire. Then we realise that we have let go of these desires; there is no longer any attachment to them.

When you find yourself attached, remember that ‘letting go’ is not ‘getting rid of’ or ‘throwing away’. If I’m holding onto this clock and you say, ‘Let go of it!’, that doesn’t mean ‘throw it out’. I might think that I have to throw it away because I’m attached to it, but that would just be the desire to get rid of it. We tend to think that getting rid of the object is a way of getting rid of attachment. But if I can contemplate attachment, this grasping of the clock, I realise that there is no point in getting rid of it - it’s a good clock; it keeps good time and is not heavy to carry around. The clock is not the problem. The problem is grasping the clock. So what do I do? Let it go, lay it aside - put it down gently without any kind of aversion. Then I can pick it up again, see what time it is and lay it aside when necessary.

You can apply this insight into ‘letting go’ to the desire for sense pleasures. Maybe you want to have a lot of fun. How would you lay aside that desire without any aversion? Simply recognize the desire without judging it. You can contemplate wanting to get rid of it - because you feel guilty about having such a foolish desire - but just lay it aside. Then, when you see it as it is, recognizing that it’s just desire, you are no longer attached to it.

Kevin Griffin Latest Article on Huffington Post

Here's an excert from: 
"A Buddhist Approach to Recovery: Step Four -- Searching and Fearless"
by Kevin Griffin

One of the ways we can get comfortable in this process of self-examination and, indeed, letting go of attachment to self is by going to 12 Step meetings and hearing people share. Pretty quickly it becomes apparent that we aren't significantly worse or better than most of the people there. And when we see how willing they are to expose themselves, to admit their failings and how it not only doesn't seem to be causing them pain, but that, in fact, they seem to be getting some relief from it, then the whole thing can start to come together.

Twelve Step meetings, by and large, are safe places. They are a place where you can start to open up, to talk about yourself in very honest ways without fear of harm or reprisal, without shame or guilt. Mostly what you will get is empathy and compassion -- and probably some advice as well, which you can take or leave. In Step Five I'll talk about the vital social aspects of recovery.

Click here for full article.

Link to the Thich Nhat Hanh Poem

Here's the link to the poem "Call Me by My True Names" by Thich Nhat Hanh:
http://www.quietspaces.com/poemHanh.html

And here is an excerpt:

I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea
pirate,
and I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and
loving.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and laughs at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.
Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up,
and so the door of my heart can be left open,
the door of compassion.

Thich Nhat Hanh 

Heather Sundberg this Tuesday, 5/3

This week, on Tuesday, May 3, we are fortunate to have Heather Sundberg leading the Berkeley Dharma & Recovery sitting group at Northbrae Community Church. Heather recently completed four years of teacher training with Jack Kornfield and others at Spirit Rock/IMS, and she co-leads an annual retreat with Kevin Griffin in the Santa Cruz Mountains for people interested in Buddhism and the 12 Steps:

Wednesday-Sunday, October 12-16, 2011
Buddhism/12 Step meditation retreat,
Vajrapani Institute, Boulder Creek, CA

Please join us this Tuesday, May 3 from 7:30 - 9 pm.

-Walt Opie

Quote from Vinny Ferraro - Freedom is Going Beyond Conditions

This is a nice quote from Vinny Ferraro, one of Noah Levine's closest friends and co-teachers. -walt

Freedom is Going Beyond Conditions

The Buddha taught that freedom is going beyond conditions. For me, the people who have been through the harshest conditions—and survived—have the greatest potential to transform the madness of their lives. See, that madness made them who they are. So if they can take that madness, claim it, and stand on top of its incredible energy, they can transform it into power.
-Vinny Ferraro, "The Heartful Dodger"

http://www.tricycle.com/feature/heartful-dodger

Control Yourself by Kevin Griffin (from another blog)

Last night during Kevin Griffin's class at Spirit Rock, he mentioned a blog posting he had just written. Here's a link to that new posting, with an excerpt from it below about the real purpose of meditation:

http://improveourconsciouscontact.blogspot.com/2011/04/control-yourself.html

Mindfulness meditation is, first of all, about seeing clearly what is happening in the present moment. When our bodies hurt, mindfulness suggests we try to bring our awareness to what that exactly feels like; when our thoughts are washing through our minds, mindfulness says, notice what thoughts you’re having and see what patterns emerge—there’s important information there; when we are falling asleep we have the opportunity to see what fatigue feels like—it’s a trigger for addiction, so it’s wise to see it clearly.
--Kevin Griffin

Kevin Griffin Writes About Buddhism & the 3rd Step on Huffington Post

Here's an excerpt about the 3rd Step from Kevin Griffin's blog on Huffington Post:

A Buddhist Approach To Recovery: Turning It Over

Turning our will over means that we now are clear about how we want to live, that we've committed ourselves to living skillfully and wisely. That doesn't mean we'll always succeed (far from it), but it does mean that we know what direction we want to be aimed, and when we lose our way we know how to get back. In the same way that when we are meditating and get lost in thought, when we realize that's happened, we come back to the breath, to our intention to be present. This shift of intention has a profound effect on the direction of our lives.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kevin-griffin/turning-it-over_b_841087.html

G. Alan Marlatt, Expert on Addiction, Dies at 69

G. Alan Marlatt was a friend to the world of Buddhism and Recovery, and he attended the first Buddhist Recovery Network Conference as a presenter. He was also scheduled to be a presenter at the second BRN Conference this May.  He had an important new book out entitled Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention for Addictive Behaviors (with Sarah Bowen and Neha Chawla). Below are some links and an excerpt of an article that briefly outlines one of his relapse prevention techniques, called SOBER. -walt

http://o.seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2014528623_marlattobit18m.html

http://depts.washington.edu/abrc/marlatt.htm

Here's a tribute article in Psychology Today:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/addiction-in-society/201103/tribute-alan-marlatt

Here's an excerpt from an article in Time:

Marlatt uses the acronym SOBER to instruct patients on how to deal with a slip or fight off the urge to do so. The S stands for stop: pause for a moment and consider what you are doing. O means observe: think about what you are sensing, feeling and experiencing, and what events led to the situation. B is for breathe: take a few deep breaths. Then, expand your awareness and remind yourself of what will happen if you keep repeating the unwanted behavior and how you will feel afterward. R stands for respond mindfully: remember that you have a choice, that you are not powerless, and that you don't have to continue the undesired behavior.

"Otherwise, you are on autopilot," says Marlatt. "The urge is driving you. So take a breathing space."

Marlatt is currently conducting studies of the latest version of his behavior-modification techniques — which he collectively calls "mindfulness-based relapse prevention" — in comparison with typical addiction treatment. His research, on alcohol and other drug abuse, isn't completed yet, but he says, "We're getting very positive results."

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1868965,00.html#ixzz1HFNMKmPu

Kevin Griffin Free Audio Talk on Turning It Over

I highly recommend listening to this talk given by Kevin Griffin at Spirit Rock recently during his 8-week class on Buddhism and the Twelve Steps:

http://www.dharmaseed.org/teacher/100/talk/12111/

Buddhist Recovery Network

This is the website for the Buddhist Recovery Network: www.buddhistrecovery.org

The speakers for the upcoming 2011 BRN Conference includes: Pablo Das, Kevin Griffin, Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart, Gregg Krech, Noah Levine, Darren Littlejohn, Professor G. Alan Marlatt, Jeffrey McIntyre, Joseph Rogers, Chönyi Taylor, Barbara West.

Bill Wilson Quotes

Here are a couple of Bill W. quotes I've shared with the group recently:

Is Happiness the Goal?
"I don't think happiness or unhappiness is the point. How do we meet the problems we face? How do we best learn from them and transmit what we have learned to others, if they would receive the knowledge?"

On Emotional Sobriety
"Nowadays my brain no longer races compulsively in either elation, grandiosity, or depression. I have been given a quiet place in bright sunshine."

The First Step in Buddhism & Recovery Is Letting Go by Kevin Griffin

Kevin Griffin has a nice article on the First Step in the now AOL-owned Huffington Post here. (Be sure you check out all of the comments on his article at the bottom!)

Here's a brief excerpt of his article:

The Buddha starts his teaching with the recognition of all the ways that life is challenging, physically and mentally: that we're often stuck with what we don't want or wishing we had something else; that we inevitably get old and sick and die. Just like Step One, he's trying to get us to see past the surface to what's really going on. The starting point of both paths, then, is to see the truth: in 12 Step terms, to come out of denial; in Buddhist terms, to shed delusion. To begin on any spiritual path, and to deal with the destructive power of addiction, we have to be honest with ourselves. 

Kevin Griffin will lead the group on Tuesday, February 22

Join Kevin Griffin, author of One Breath At a Time: Buddhism and the Twelve Steps, on Tuesday, February 22 when he leads the group from 7:30 - 9 pm. As always, the group will meet in the Northbrae Community Church, 941 The Alameda (near Solano Ave.) in North Berkeley.

Quotes About Mindfulness & Impulse Control

I recently read the Daily Reflections book for the date of January 20, and this is an excerpt:

"Today I humbly ask my Higher Power for the grace to find the space between my impulse and my action; to let flow a cooling breeze when I would respond with heat; to interrupt fierceness with gentle peace; to accept the moment which allows judgment to become discernment; to defer to silence when my tongue would rush to attack or defend."

And here's the quote on mindfulness I read last Tuesday from a 2008 dharma talk by Sylvia Boorstein:

"I think about mindfulness as that practice of making or allowing a space in the mind between the impulse that arises and the action that follows it."

Berkeley Dharma & Recovery Group - 2011 Schedule

The new Berkeley Dharma & Recovery meditation group (mainly for those in 12-Step Programs) meets every Tuesday night from 7:30 - 9 pm in the Northbrae Community Church (941 The Alameda, Berkeley, CA 94707--near Solano Ave). We meet upstairs in Room 1 (smaller room, not the big DRU room). Per request, please try not wear heavily scented products if possible. Beginners are always welcome!

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